Prioritise your Mental Health

May is internationally recognised as Mental Health Awareness Month, with the aim of promoting emotional wellness. Charities that support mental health often run campaigns this month to help raise money to continue their work, and to bring more awareness to the importance of good mental health. We must remember that our mental health really is our wealth, and in my opinion the most important thing of all, so it must be our top priority.

Getting to Really Know Yourself

There are always so many articles about mental health these days, but I think the most important thing to make sure of, when looking after yours, is to learn everything you can about yourself. Be truly honest about your life, your feelings, your friends, family and work. Look at what is working and what is not. Look for the things that make you happy, and the things that make you sad. The things that bring you joy, and the things that bring frustration.

Sometimes, writing things down each day can really help with mental wellbeing. It can either be in a diary, in a thoughts journal or a simple notepad by the bed – just getting things out of your head and down on paper, can be a supportive exercise. You might also want to keep a note of your sleep and work patterns, food or exercise diaries, and see how those can affect your mood. These can be helpful for noticing patterns of behaviour and feelings, and what works for you and what doesn’t. Or you can just use it as a check in tool – to write things down explaining how you feel.

We can also use journals as a really positive tool - to write down the things we are grateful for, or maybe to set yourself a few tasks each day. Try writing down 3-4 things every night on a piece of paper that you would like to get done the following day, and maybe 3-4 things that you are grateful for that day too. It gives you a reason to get up, showered, dressed and focused each morning. Some days you will do far more than is on the list, some days just the things on the list, and some days, you might not have achieved even those things, but it gives you a great starting point and a focus.

When you work out what brings you joy, and what positive changes you can make, (and importantly how to improve or accept the things you can’t), you will feel more able to move towards a happier, healthier life. It is not selfish to prioritise your mental health. To do things that energise us and motivates us is so important.

Simple Pleasures to Calm the Mind

For me, a few hours on a Sunday walking along the seafront, or visiting a National Trust garden, reading a few chapters, taking photos, having a coffee with a friend, chatting to a few strangers along the way (or quite often just being alone sometimes), leaves me feeling calmer, and more able to come back home with the energy to get through the chores and the next working week. Sometimes if the weather is awful, I will do a craft at home for a few hours instead, or make time to have a warm bath, watch a movie or read a book. It doesn’t really matter what you find relaxing – just that it is something you really enjoy, that allows the brain to rest for a little while.

Having Things to Look Forward To

It’s also lovely if we are able to have a few bits in the diary to look forward to! It might be coffee with a friend, a catch up with family, or a treat for yourself! I’m very excited to be off to the Lindt Chocolate Factory later this month with my sister, for a weekend in Zurich to celebrate her 50th Birthday! I’m also going to the theatre with my mum for her birthday treat at the end of the month when we get back, so we’re both looking forward to that too.

Making Time to do Nothing Sometimes!

As we get older, we realise that it is important to take a little time here and there to do not much at all! It can actually make us more effective and productive the rest of the time. Taking an hour out for a warm bath, a chat with a friend, or just to sit quietly listening to the birds or the waves at the sea, are all valuable uses of our precious time. Balancing busy times with quiet times, is really vital for our mental health. Sometimes our heads can be so full of the ‘must dos’ and ‘should dos’ that we end up not achieving very much at all.

Recognising Why It’s Important

We have all had to overcome difficulties along our individual life journeys, whether that be poor health (physical and/or emotional), divorce, bereavement, financial issues, family problems, troubles at work, issues with our personal relationships or friendships, childhood difficulties, environmental problems, abuse – the list is endless. Keeping our mental health strong by prioritising our emotional needs, really can be the difference between getting through these challenges or not, as we make our way through life.

Asking for Help

None of us like to ask for help or admit we are struggling. But we all have difficult times, and we all need others to be there for us sometimes. Those that are used to being the strong, helpful ones, are also often the ones that find it the most difficult to admit we need help or support. If you can feel your mental health suffering, it is SO important to reach out and tell someone you trust, so you can share your worries and ease your burdens, knowing that someone is there to listen and to help you. Sometimes you just need to be heard, and to get things out of your head.

If you don’t have anyone close to that you can talk to, then please do contact a local counsellor, or one of the organisations listed at the end of this blog. You do not need to suffer alone. Many counselling and support services are offering online consultations if they are unable to see you face-to-face, and this can still bring great support at the time you need it most.

Also – if you do find the courage to reach out and you don’t get the support you hoped for from that person, group of people or organisation – please don’t give up. Trust that the next person you ask will be more helpful. Try to ask the person that you know always has your best interests at heart. Not everyone knows how to properly listen or help you when you are struggling – a lot of people find it hard to hear you are not doing ok. But the right ones will step up. There’s a lot of truth in the saying ‘A trouble shared is a trouble halved’ and we can feel much better, and that a weight is lifted off our shoulders, when we are brave enough to make ourselves a little vulnerable, and say out loud (to someone who loves or cares for us) that we are finding things hard and might need a bit of help.

Turning ‘Off’ Is Vital These Days

Today, with email, the internet, social media - Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Snapchat, Whatsapp, online shopping, other apps, online games etc - everything is so fast paced, and we are expected to response to others demands much more quickly than we used to. Everything is so instant – our brains don’t always have the processing time that we need to think properly, make good decisions and/or respond to requests.

Stress can be high, along with others expectations. We need to find a way to reduce all the demands placed on our mental health, and to allow ourselves time to deal with these most effectively. How often do you read your ‘Screen Time’ for the day and think ‘how can it be that much?’. It is really good for our mental health to be aware of how long we are spending on our devices, and to try hard to switch them off or just activate that ‘silent’ button sometimes! Just a quiet 10 minute, peaceful walk can do the trick. Let your brain rest a little in between projects/clients/chores/meetings etc.

Setting Boundaries for Ourselves and Others

We must learn ways to set boundaries. To decide what are our working hours, and ‘time out’ hours. When to respond and when to just breathe and consider our reply first. When to be available and when to switch off and nourish ourselves for a bit. It is super hard to do, as we all like to be productive all the time and make a real difference, but we also want to get the best results we can, and be the most help we can to others, which only comes when we have balance.

Look after Yourself so you can Look after Others

“You can’t pour from an empty cup” as they saying goes – so make sure your cup is regularly topped up – then you can help to fill others up too, and everyone is well. It’s fine to tell someone you can help them, but not right now. It’s perfectly acceptable to take an hour out here and there just for yourself to breathe and catch up. It’s ok to say ‘no’ to an invitation sometimes, or to re-arrange a plan if you feel you are not able to relax enough to enjoy it at that time, or if you are too exhausted to be good company. Being there for all the folk you love is really important of course – but remember to love yourself along the way too!

Make time to nurture and prioritise friendships and other relationships where you are appreciated, but limit time with those that affect your energy in a negative way, if you are not able to step away from them. Sometimes finding our peace means letting go of things, jobs (or people) in our lives, even when it is really hard to do.

Learn to Really Enjoy your own Company and Work out your Priorities

It is a really valuable life skill to learn to enjoy time alone – it is such an important ability to have in this world. To really think what makes you happy, what makes you feel alive, and what makes you feel calm. What feeds your individual needs, and makes you get up in the morning! For me it’s a lovely warm bath, then on with the day ahead!

Other Things to Support our Mental Health

Many other factors are important too, when looking at our emotional health.

Exercise and Mindfulness

Exercise is great for our mental health. These days I tend to just walk, but whatever you enjoy – gym work, cycling, swimming, running, team sport, dancing, yoga – all of these help support our mental health. When we move our bodies we feel good… especially if we can do it outdoors! If you are not able to get out, or get to classes, there are many options online these days via Zoom or YouTube. Meditation and breathing classes can also help us with relaxation techniques. Maybe commit to doing something with a friend to encourage you to keep it up – and do choose something you enjoy, so it’s not just another chore! I don’t really enjoy the gym, so I would rather walk or dance – but everyone is different – so pick the thing that you are most likely to stick with!

Sleep

Getting a decent nights sleep is vital to our mental wellbeing. Continued interrupted or poor quality sleep can affect our mood, how we deal with others, our weight, our immunity and how productive we are. It is good if we can try to cut down on our screen time before bed, keep away from stimulants such as coffee and alcohol, and maybe listen to some music, have a bath, read a book or listen to a podcast or audio book before you go to sleep. Keep a cool bedroom, and perhaps sleep with a window slightly open to get some fresh air. Aromatherapy blends can help you too – I can help you with those!

Family and Friends

Keeping up with friends and family - connecting with our nearest and dearest, is very important for us. We all need to reach out sometimes too, if our mental health is struggling. Sometimes just a hug or a kind word can set us back on a more positive course. Kindness makes all the difference, and reaching out when we feel vulnerable is a strength, not a weakness. A phone call can change a day for the better. A quick text can tell someone they are loved. An email can update someone and let them feel included. A video call can bring a smile and share a story in a more personal way if you can’t see someone in person. A handwritten letter can completely make someone’s day! Just check in with those you care about whenever you can.

Healthy Eating

Food is also important. The healthier we eat, the better we generally feel. Dark chocolate is my favourite thing, so I do have at least two squares of this every day with a lovely strong coffee! But balance is the key, and if you are getting plenty of fresh vegetables and fruit, and getting all your vitamins, fibre, protein, fats and carbohydrates in your diet, then you can have the odd treat. Not eating too late in the evening is a good idea - if you are able to keep a fair few hours between your last meal in the evening and your first meal the next day, this also helps the body to process your food in the most effective way. Another good idea is to have extra Zinc, Vitamin D and Vitamin C to keep your immunity strong.

Hobbies

Try to carve out some time to do something you love every single day. Making time for our hobbies and other things we enjoy, is very important for our mental health too. It might be a craft, sport, cooking, theatre, music, photography, travel, reading, pottery, walking, board games (or whatever other things outside of your usual home life and work life that bring you joy). These should be things you always make time for. Doing something new can be great for our energy and confidence too – but also doing something we are already good at that we love, boosts our self esteem and makes us feel good.

Letting Go of the ‘I Shoulds’

For all of the advice and suggestions above, there are also without doubt, days when we just cannot find the motivation to do these things that we believe to be good for us – all the things we think we ‘should’ do, rather than just going with how we feel.

Sometimes our souls are just tired, and rest is all we actually need. Those are the days to just let yourself off your ‘to-do’ list, and indulge in a day of rest, whatever that means to you. A day to put aside the paperwork, the list of chores, and other pressures. A day to turn off the phone or tablet for a while (along with social media – do it – you can!) and concentrate on your needs alone. To spend time just with you. Time to have faith in things being ok, and that tomorrow can yet again be a day of ‘doing’. These days are important… and they are different for everyone. They may only come once or twice a year, but when you feel you really do need that day to be ok, then do take it.

Mental Health Support Groups

If you think you may be struggling with your mental health and need to reach out, there are many support groups available, with services face-to-face, online, or just call to speak to someone. Each day is a new chance to make a change, and sometimes we don’t feel like we can do it on our own. There are many local councillors (private and NHS) but they can often have long waiting lists. Below are other organisations that I’ve found online, who may be able to help you.

Anxiety UK

Charity providing support if you have been diagnosed with an anxiety condition. Phone: 03444 775 774 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 5.30pm). Website: www.anxietyuk.org.uk

CALM

CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably. A charity providing a mental health helpline and webchat. Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (Daily, 5pm to midnight). Website: www.thecalmzone.net

Men's Health Forum

24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email. Website: www.menshealthforum.org.uk

Mental Health Foundation

Provides information and support for anyone with mental health problems or learning disabilities. Website: www.mentalhealth.org.uk

Mind

Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems. Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm). Website: www.mind.org.uk

No Panic

Voluntary charity offering support for sufferers of panic attacks and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Offers a course to help overcome your phobia or OCD. Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (Daily, 10am to 10pm). Calls cost 5p per minute plus your phone provider's Access Charge. Website: www.nopanic.org.uk

Papyrus

Young suicide prevention society. Phone: HOPElineUK 0800 068 4141 (9am to midnight, every day of the year). Website: www.papyrus-uk.org

Rethink Mental Illness

Support and advice for people living with mental illness. Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm). Website: www.rethink.org

Samaritans

Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair. Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline). Website: www.samaritans.org.uk

SANE

Emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental illness, their families and carers. Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most: www.sane.org.uk/textcare. Peer support forum: www.sane.org.uk/supportforum. Website: www.sane.org.uk/support.

YoungMinds

Information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals. Phone: Parents' helpline 0808 802 5544 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm). Website: www.youngminds.org.uk. 802 5544 (Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm). Website: www.youngminds.org.uk.

SO – what are YOU going to do for your Mental Health today?