Why we must continue to celebrate and support this community

June is Pride month, so every year I think it is really important to support and celebrate the LGBTQIA+ community, and to remember why it is so vital that we continue to do this.

I have taken some of this months blog from a similar one I wrote 2 years ago, as much of it is still current, and acts as a stark reminder of why this is so important, and explains the challenges that this community had to deal with in the past, and sadly still have to deal with now in 2024.

I have added a few more support groups for the Derbyshire area now too, as I am now living up here, which can be found after the contacts for Surrey, near the end of the blog, along with a much longer, broader list of support groups (many taken from the brilliant Diversity Trust website), in the hope of helping more people to reach out.

I will continue to share and support this group of people on here, until such time there is no need anymore for them to ‘come out’, and no need to feel shame, fear or sadness for who they are, who they love, what their sexuality and gender are, or what pronouns they choose to use.

What is LGBTQIA+?

This is a loosely defined grouping of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex and asexual individuals, and the ‘+’ holds space for everyone else, who have diverse gender and sexual identities.

My wish growing up with many gay friends who maybe were not able to ‘come out’ as early as they would have liked, has always been that one day, no one will have to ‘come out’ at all. No one will feel the need to have to justify who they are, how they feel, or who they love. That some kids won’t need to panic to find the right words to tell their parents, grandparents, friends or teachers how they feel, and to be ‘gay’, ‘bi’, ‘trans’, ‘pan’, ‘non-binary’ etc will all just be accepted, without the need for clarification, justification or to seek acceptance from others, when just being themselves should ALWAYS be enough.

Surely we should just celebrate the joy and individuality in each other. To me it is really simple – we are all human beings – so you be kind, loving and respectful to me, and I’ll be kind, loving and respectful to you.

I find it abhorrent that in 2024 we are still judging people based on their gender, sexuality or race, to name just a few. How many lives must be lost from violent attacks, suicide etc., before people will stop judging others for things that just do not affect them? I genuinely have no interest who loves who, as long as sexual relationships are between consenting adults (or between teenagers over 16), and that people treat one another with kindness, respect, honesty and integrity. I do not care where someone was born, where they live now, what colour their skin is, what gender they are, who they love or what god they pray to - again - if they treat their fellow human well, why does it matter?

I firmly believe that human beings are here to make a difference in this world – we are surely designed to be compassionate people – whenever there is a crisis – whether that be a war, tsunami, pandemic etc – look for the helpers – they are everywhere! I think most people try to do good, so why do some continue to hate? Hate is so destructive and negative, but love is so transformative and positive. I truly try to live by two of my favourite quotes – “Be the change you want to see”, and “Try to leave others better than you found them”.

LGBTQIA+ in History – Why do we have Pride Month?

Although huge strides have been made for equality over recent years, we still have a long way to go. The movement for LGBTQIA+ rights in the United States dates at least as far back as the 1920s, when the first documented gay rights association was founded in Chicago in 1924, called the ‘Society for Human Rights’ – founded by German immigrant Henry Gerber. However police raids forced this group to disband just a year later. (Source: www.history.com).

In Nazi Germany, homosexual prisoners at concentration camps were made to wear pink triangles on their uniforms as a badge of shame, to identify and further dehumanize them. In 1972 ‘The Men with the Pink Triangle’ autobiography of a gay concentration camp survivor was published, and the following year Germany’s first gay rights organization ‘HAW’ reclaimed the pink triangle as a symbol of liberation (Source: www.history.com).

The Mafia ran gay bars in New York in the 1960s. An unlikely partnership, but as the LGBTQIA+ community were forced to live on the outskirts of society, and as the Mafia had such disregard of the law – the two became a profitable match, and ‘Fat Tony’ (Tony Lauria) purchased the Stonewall Inn in 1966, and transformed it into a gay bar and nightclub, and from there bribed the NYPD to turn a blind eye, and blackmailed wealthy gay patrons by threatening to ‘out’ them. (Source: www.history.com).

Pride Month is celebrated every June, as a tribute to those who were involved in the Stonewall Riots in 1969. On June 28th of that year, the Stonewall Inn was raided by police. This lead to riots by bar patrons, staff and neighbourhood residents onto the street outside. The riots continued over 6 days with protests and clashes, with the protestors demanding that LGBTQIA+ people could be open about their sexual orientation without fear of arrest. The first official Pride event was held on the same day a year later, to celebrate the acceptance of sexual diversity.

LGBTQIA+ Facts and Figures

Health - 1 in 8 (13%) of LGBTQIA+ people have experienced some form of unequal treatment from healthcare staff. Almost 1 in 4 have witnessed discriminatory or negative remarks against LGBTQIA+ people by healthcare staff. 1 in 7 (14%) have avoided treatment for fear of discrimination. 7 in 10 (70%) of trans people report being impacted by transphobia when accessing general health services. 45% of trans people said their GP did not have a good understanding of their needs, rising to 55% of non-binary people. (Source: Stonewall.org.uk. Taken from LGBT in Britain: Health 2018 and TransActual Trans Lives Survey 2021 ).

Home and Communities – Only 46% of lesbian, gay and bi people and 47% of trans people feel able to be open about their sexual orientation or gender identity to everyone in their family. 30% of bi men and 8% of bi women also say they cannot be open about their sexual orientation with their friends. More than 11% of LGBTQIA+ people have faced domestic abuse from a partner in the last year, and 18% have experienced homelessness at some point. A staggering 51% of black, asian and minority ethnic LGBTQIA+ people have experienced discrimination from others in their LGBTQIA+ community because of their ethnicity. 32% of lesbian, gay and bi people of faith and 25% of trans people of faith, are not open with anyone in their faith community about their identity. (Source: Stonewall.org.uk. Taken from LGBT in Britain – Home and Communities 2018).

At Work – More than 35% of LGBTQIA+ staff have hidden their sexuality at work. Almost 38% of bi people, 37% of non-binary people, 26% of trans people, 7% of gay men and 4% of lesbians aren’t out to anyone at work. 18% of LGBTQIA+ staff have been the target of negative comments or conduct from work colleagues, and the same number said they were discriminated against because of their identity whilst trying to get a job. (Source: Stonewall.org.uk. Taken from LGBT in Britain – Work 2018).

Education – 42% of LGBTQIA+ school pupils have been bullied in the last year – double the number of non-LGBTQIA+ pupils. 48% have had no positive messaging about being LGBTQIA+ at school, but for those that had, they had reduced suicidal thoughts and feelings, whether they were LGBTQIA+ or not. 50% of LGBTQIA+ pupils hear homophobic slurs frequently at school. Only 20% of pupils have been taught about safe sex in relation to same-sex relationships, and 40% are never taught anything about LGBTQIA+ issues in school. A staggering 86% of secondary school teachers and 45% of primary school teachers say that pupils in their schools have experienced homophobic bullying. Worth noting here too, is that almost all teachers – 96% in secondary schools and 91% in primary schools, who have addressed LGBTQIA+ issues, received no complaints from parents for doing so. (Source: Stonewall.org.uk. Taken from Just Like Us Growing Up LGBT+ 2021, The School Report 2017 and The Teachers’ Report 2014).

At University – A huge 42% of LGBTQIA+ students have hidden their identity at university for fear of discrimination. 36% of trans students and 7% of lesbian, gay and bi students have faced negative comments or conduct from university staff. 47% of LGBTQIA+ disabled students have experienced this, and more than a quarter – 28% of LGBTQIA+ students say they were excluded by other students. (Source: Stonewall.org.uk. Taken from LGBT in Britain: University 2018 and Next Steps: What is the experience of LGBT+ student in education? 2021).

Hate Crime – 64% of LGBTQIA+ people have experienced anti-LGBTQIA+ violence or abuse. Of these, 92% had experienced verbal abuse, 29% physical violence and 17% sexual violence. Only 1 in 8 had reported the most recent incident they had experienced, and less than half of those who did report it were satisfied with the response. Only 1 in 3 received any support. 34% of black, asian and minority ethnic LGBTQIA+ people have experienced a hate crime or incident in the last year, compared to 20% of white LGBTQIA+ people. 41% of trans people have experienced a hate crime because of their gender identity. (Source: Stonewall.org.uk. Taken from Galop’s Hate Crime Report 2021 and LGBT in Britain: Hate Crime 2017).

International – 69 countries still criminalise same-sex relationships, and the death penalty for same-sex relationships is either ‘allowed’ or evidence of its existence occurs, in 11 of these. In more than half the world, LGBTQIA+ people may not be protected from discrimination by workplace law. Most governments deny trans people the right to legally change their name and gender from those assigned at birth, and 25% of the world’s population believes that being LGBTQIA+ should be a crime. (Source: Stonewall.org.uk. Taken from Stonewall’s International Work and ILGA World 2020).

Sport – 70% of football fans attending a match have heard or witnessed homophobia on the terraces. 10% of LGBTQIA+ people who attended a sporting event in the last year experienced discrimination. 3 in 5 fans believe anti-gay abuse from fans dissuades gay professional players from coming out. Over 50% of football fans believe the FA, Premier League and Football League are not doing enough to tackle abuse. 17% of lesbian, gay, bi and trans people have experienced, and 49% have witnessed, homophobia or transphobia in sport. 66% of lesbian, gay, bi and trans people felt there were problems with homophobia and transphobia in sport, and that this acted as a barrier to LGBTQIA+ people taking part. 12% of LGBTQIA+ people avoid going to the gym or sports groups due to fear of discrimination and harassment. (Source: Stonewall.org.uk. Taken from Leagues Behind 2009, Out for Sport 2012 and LGBT in Britain – Hate Crime 2017).

LGBTQIA+ Support in Surrey – Who can Help?

‘Outline’ are a Woking-based charity who provide support to people with their sexuality and gender identity, including (but not limited to) the lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and trans community of Surrey, primarily through a helpline, website and support groups. They also support their families and friends, creating a local, safe environment, to be there when sometimes no one else can be. Outline is a registered charity. To find out more see their website at: https://outlinesurrey.org.uk, email them at: helpline@outlinesurrey.org.uk, or call them on: 01483 727667.

‘Pride in Surrey’ are a non-profit community interest company with a mission to celebrate, educate and connect the LGBTQIA+ community and allies across Surrey and the surrounding counties. Via their website: www.prideinsurrey.org, you can connect to their YouTube channel for their LGBTQIA+ digital content, you can learn more about their ‘Pride Hub’ – the LGBTQIA+ Safe space and shop in Woking, ‘The Proud Show’ – a weekly radio show celebrating Surrey’s LGBTQIA+ community, and their ‘Text to Talk’ service, by Texting TALK to 88440 if you need someone to talk to. You can also contact them on: 01483 663700 or email them at: hello@prideinsurrey.org for more information.

‘Twister’ is run by Surrey County Council Youth Workers, and is a safe space where young people can meet to get support, make friends, and take part in fun, creative and awareness raising activities. It is for young people age 13 to 19, and up to 25 if the young adult has special educational needs or disabilities (SEND). Contact for Guildford: Rob Oulton on: 07812 758075. For Woking it is: Sandie Bolger on: 07854 511336. (Source: www.surreycc.gov.uk).

‘Eikon’ is a Surrey children’s charity who run a weekly virtual youth club called iAmMe. The group is for young people between 12 and 18 years old. In the sessions, they get to meet others, get advice and be signposted to other services when needed, and take part in various activities. Contact them at: EikonLGBT@eikon.org.uk. (Source: www.surreycc.gov.uk).

LGBTQIA+ Support in Derbyshire – Who can Help?

Derbyshire LGBT+
www.derbyshirelgbt.org.uk
info@derbyshirelgbt.org.uk
01332 207704

The Elm Foundation
www.theelmfoundation.org.uk
info@theelmfoundation.org.uk
08000 198 668

Galop Helpline
www.galop.org.uk
help@galop.org.uk
0800 999 5428
0300 999 5428

Other Useful LGBTQIA+ and Equal Rights Support

‘Stonewall’ stand for LGBTQIA+ people everywhere. They were founded on 24th May 1989, one year to the day since Section 28 became law. Section 28 of the local Government Act was a piece of legislation that banned the ‘promotion of homosexuality’ by schools and councils across Britain, and led to a total suppression of LGBTQIA+ identities in schools. Stonewall’s founders were a small group of people who had been active in the struggle against Section 28. They knew our communities needed a professional campaigning organisation who would fight for LGBTQIA+ rights in politics, in the media, in the courts and everywhere we learn, work, pray and just exist.

Their website at: Stonewall.org.uk has a huge amount of support and information for everyone across the country, so no matter where you live, or what support you need, you will find a wealth of help, guidance and information on their website. You can read what a difference the organisation has made (and is still making every day).

Over the last 30+ years, they have offered support to individuals, families, schools, colleges, universities and workplaces. You can also contact them about volunteering, campaigning or fundraising to support their amazing and vital work. They offer help to the LGBTQIA+ community with many issues, including homelessness, employment, healthcare, mutual aid, self-isolation, disability, health and wellbeing, trans-specific care, services for young and old, and help for asylum seekers, and can put you in touch with LGBTQIA+ communities and support in your local area. As well as the website, you can email them at: info@stonewall.org.uk, or call them in confidence on: 0800 050 2020.

‘The Kaleidosope Trust’ was established in 2011, and is a UK-based charity focused on fighting for the human rights of LGBTQIA+ people across the Commonwealth. They fund, fight for, and empower those upholding the human rights of LGBTQIA+ people by working with governments, and other organisations to effect meaningful and lasting change. Their mission is to help create a world where LGBTQIA+ people are free, safe and equal everywhere. You can find out much more about their work at: www.kaleidoscopetrust.com, by emailing them at: info@kaleidoscopetrust.com, or by calling them on: 0208 133 6460.

‘Mermaids’ has been supporting Transgender, Non-binary and gender-diverse children, young people and their families since 1995. They have evolved from being a group of concerned parents sitting around the kitchen table, to being one of the UK’s leading LGBTQIA+ charities, empowering thousands of people with its secure online communities, local community groups, helpline services, web resources, events and residential weekends. You can call them on: 0808 801 0400, email them at: info@mermaidsuk.org.uk or find a wealth of support and information on their website at: www.mermaidsuk.org.uk.

Other groups taken from the Diversity Trust Website: www.diversitytrust.org.uk.

National LGBT Consortium
National membership organisation focusing on the development and support of LGBT groups, projects and organisations.

www.lgbtconsortium.org.uk

LGBT Foundation
Information for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans communities on sexual health, wellbeing, groups and events.

www.lgbt.foundation

Pink Therapy UK
Organisation to promote quality therapy and training services for people who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans.

www.pinktherapy.com

Fflag - Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
A national voluntary organisation and charity dedicated to supporting parents and their Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans sons and daughters.

www.fflag.org.uk

Gender and Identity Clinic
The largest and oldest gender identity clinic in the world, and has been in operation since the 1960s in London.

www.wlmht.nhs.uk/gi/gender-identity-clinic

GIRES - Gender and Identity Research Education Service
Research and education on gender identity.

www.gires.org.uk

Hidayah LGBT
A national volunteer led organization, providing support and advice to LGBT+ Muslims.

www.hidayahlgbt.co.uk

Midline Trans+ Helpline
A confidential emotional, mental health support helpline for people who identify as Transgender, Agender, Gender Fluid and Non-Binary.

0300 330 5468 (Mondays to Fridays from 8pm to midnight)

Terrence Higgins Trust
HIV/AIDS information, safer sex, online booklets and helpline.

www.tht.org.uk

Trans Unite
Access over 100 verified UK Trans support groups. Detailed profiles offer specific information on the scope of support provided, meeting schedules and contact information.

www.transunite.co.uk

There is also a lot of other information on local councils websites wherever you live – just search under ‘LGBTQIA+ services’ and also on the general Government website, where you can find lots of support groups, and a ton of information for both LGBTQIA+ people and their friends, families and loved ones too.