How do we stay Motivated?

We are all motivated by different things. Motivation usually comes because we need something or we want something. We must take action, in order to achieve a goal or to reach a dream that we have. It could be that we are just motivated to work in order to pay the bills, or because we just love what we do! Or in my case – both!

It could be that you are motivated to exercise, or eat more healthily, because to feel fit and strong makes you feel good, or because you have an outfit you want to fit back into! It could be that you are motivated to work extra hours just because you have a high mortgage or rent to pay. But, it could equally be because you also want to buy something special for yourself or someone you love, or to save for a holiday, a home or any number of things. You could be motivated to study, to improve your employment options or just because you have an interest or hobby that you wish to explore.

Or… it could be that you are motivated to just walk in nature, bake a cake, go for a cycle ride, do some yoga or read a book, have a hot bath, do some crafts, or meet a friend for coffee… because you know how good those things are for your mental health. Our mental health is as important as our physical health, so we should always be motivated to do things to support that.

You may be motivated to buy a new mattress because you have a bad back, or because you recognise the importance of a good nights sleep! You may perhaps want to learn a new language in order to try it out in the country you love to visit, or you may just be motivated to get up early, to have some time to yourself, before the days priorities start!

We make decisions every day on how to spend our time, based on what we ‘must’ do to live and support ourselves and our families. That is fine, and of course necessary for the vast majority of us, but we should also try to motivate ourselves to do other things that fulfil us, in other ways too. I know if I want to clear my head, a walk outside in nature, and taking photographs of things that interest me, or giving myself a quiet time to get lost in a book, will do the job perfectly. Do I always motivate myself to go for those walks though?! Not always! Sometimes Netflix, a good series and a bar of dark chocolate win out – and that’s ok too, because it’s every so often, not all the time!

So how can we stay motivated so that we make good, healthy choices and stay on track? How do we stick to our plans and projects, honour all our commitments and achieve our goals?

Some tips for self-motivation:

➢ Write down your ultimate goal on the calendar, or in a diary or journal
➢ Set yourself small, achievable mini goals to get there, and review regularly
➢ Reward yourself in little ways when you do manage to stay motivated!
➢ Be grateful and proud when you reach a goal, however small
➢ Understand that some days you will do less, may need a rest, and that’s ok
➢ Pick a couple of trusted people (friends, family or colleagues etc) to help you
➢ Try to always remember the ‘why’ you set the goal in the first place.

It is important to ask ourselves what we are motivated by in life. Are we motivated to get out of bed in the morning to help and support others? Are we motivated by the need to earn money and support ourselves and our families? Are we motivated to get out and spend time in nature? Are we motivated to make a difference? Are we motivated to learn new skills? Or maybe it is all of these. What drives us is different for everyone, and in order to feel satisfied in our lives, we need to recognise that what motivates us, may well be different to someone else, and that this is absolutely fine. The important thing is to not doubt ourselves, and to follow our own paths, to achieve our own goals and contentment.

Look back to things in the past that you have achieved that you never thought you would. Or difficult, challenging or upsetting situations that you felt you would never get through or get over at the time, and then look at where you are today. Folk say the best predictor of the future is the past, so chances are, if you got through those things then, you will cope with any challenges that you are facing now, or that lie ahead. To not pursue your dreams, or not try to reach your goals, because you doubt your ability to succeed, would be a shame and a missed opportunity. Stay focused. Stay motivated.

How many times do we put things off that need to be done, then once we’ve done them, feel the relief of ticking them off the list, and thinking that it hardly took any time at all to sort them out, or that the task wasn’t as hard as we had imagined! Motivation, and being resilient and determined to get things done, brings us a real sense of satisfaction and achievement.

We are generally all much stronger and more capable than we give ourselves credit for, and it is in the difficult times that we often grow the most. What is the worst that can happen if you go for it? Is that worse than living with the thought you didn’t try? What if things go brilliantly? How amazing would that be?!

Something I try to do, is to go to bed each night and think (or write down, or say out loud!) three things that I was grateful for that day. It could simply be waking up in a bed, having food in the fridge, and myself and my daughter being healthy. It could equally some days, be getting through all my clients, paying off a bill I’ve been saving up to pay off, and the car not breaking down on me!

But what I also try to do, is to wake up each day with a list of three things (on top of work and parenting commitments!) that I want to get done. Any more is great if I have the time and the energy, but it helps me to have small goals each day, so that I can get through everything that needs doing, and have a real sense of achievement when my head hits the pillow each night.

Another thing that can hold our motivation back is fear. Fear that if we try to do something we might fail. That if we aren’t good enough or strong enough, or if others might judge us, these things can stop us in our tracks from pushing forwards towards our dreams. Fear can also happen because of the fear of change, fear of losing control over our situations, or fear of what might happen if things don’t turn out the way we hope. We must have faith in our abilities, and our resilience to adapt, if our efforts are not rewarded in the ways, or outcomes we are aiming for.

Talking through our ideas with people that we trust, whether that is family, close friends, work colleagues etc., can also be helpful sometimes. Choose honest, positive, level-headed people that you know will support you on the journey, who will be there to help you. People who listen if things don’t quite go to plan, but who will also champion your efforts and boost your morale, to help you keep going on the tougher days! We are usually our own worst critics in life, so it’s lovely to have a few supportive people close to you, who remind you how brilliant and capable you are!

Keep in mind what the result of all your hard work is likely to be – how proud you will be of yourself for achieving what you set out to do. Keep going, don’t give up on yourself. It’s important for all of us to wake up with purpose each morning. Remember that (usually!) the things you water grow best in life.

Sometimes though – motivation can also be to NOT do something, because of another factor. So – a couple of Saturdays ago I injured my right ankle – so resting it all day on the Sunday was very boring (especially as I had hoped to go on a nice long walk and had plenty of other chores to do!) – but the motivation for just taking the day to rest, was that I had 6 clients to get through on the Monday, and I couldn’t afford financially to be off work. So - rest it, ice it, compress and elevate it I did – for the whole day! Remember, you can’t do everything you want to do every day… curve balls happen all the time to change our plans, and sometimes we have to just accept that tomorrow is another day!

I think it is also really important when working hard towards a goal or a dream, that whilst we are doing that, we also take time to do things we love. That may well be things that are linked to the goal, but they may not be. We may be working hard to just pay our bills month-to-month, or to save for a deposit for a home, or a holiday or new car, or for something for our loved ones.

It is vital though I think, to also prioritise the things you love now – your hobbies and whatever you do to relax, that bring you happiness. Don’t forget to enjoy some time in the present moment, as well as planning for the future. None of us know what tomorrow, next week, next month or next year will bring, so try to live in the here and now wherever possible too!